My Christmas experience

Every year, Christmas is not an event for me. I don’t celebrate the holiday, and somehow I don’t have the opportunity to share it with anyone close to me. While everyone is decorating their homes and preparing festive dishes, I just sit at home and watch from the window.
I didn’t get any presents, and to be honest, I didn’t expect them. For me, it’s not just a holiday — it’s a reminder of how hard it is when there’s no one to share the holiday atmosphere with. I’m not going to go out and buy anything, because that’s not what brings me joy. I try to convince myself that it’s not important, but I’m getting homesick.
In the evenings, I sit at home, watch TV, and think about how others are enjoying the holiday. I’d like to play pool, but I can’t bring myself to go outside by myself. It’s become a habit to stay home when everyone else is celebrating. I’m tired of feeling lonely, of the holidays happening without me.
Birthdays are another date that doesn't really make me feel special. I don't celebrate them because I don't have anyone to celebrate with. Sometimes I wonder why I even need to. Why would I celebrate if I don't have anyone to share the moment with? So, this holiday season, I just want you to know that I don't celebrate Christmas, and that's probably why I don't feel the magic of it. Maybe I'm just waiting for it to be over and for the new year to begin with new possibilities.